*PICS TO ENTERTAIN DODO WHILE SHE'S AT WORK*

THIS IS MEEE, YO!


OKAY SO I OPEN THIS NEW KIND OF CAT FOOD, AND I START TO FREAK CUZ IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE FUCKING MAGGOTS IN IT, RIGHT? WRONG, ITS 'SALMON AND RICE' FLAVORED FOOD AND THOSE ARE JUST BITS OF RICE. STILL KINDA NASTY. AND YES, I FEED MY CATS WITH BABY FOOD SPOONS.


MMM, STEAK!


ZOSHIE BEAR


CAT CAT YUM YUM


Ok, find out how you will be arrested, the Google way. A fun little time-waster.

Go to google, type "(your FIRST name) was arrested for" and see what you got sent to the slammer for. Remember to use the quotation marks! Stick your result below...AND REPOST don't reply!

1. Gavin was arrested for causing a disturbance aboard a United Airlines flight.
2. Marianne was arrested for disturbing the peace by yelling at students in Hawaii.
3. Colleen was arrested For Using Duct Tape On Kid. HOW APPROPRIATE.
4. Melanie was arrested for drug connections. Who Me?
5. John was arrested for maintaining a common nuisance based upon the discovery of twenty pounds of marijuana in his apartment. LOL!
6. Matt was arrested for fondling and messing with a police officer.
7. In 1931, Sean was arrested for digging a hole to Hell, which released numerous evil demons into public. He spent six long days in jail, wishing himself dead. [its true]
8. Amanda was arrested for possession of crack. Dave, high himself, had told a police officer she was using. FUCK YOU DAVE!!!
9.geno was arrested three times this weekend,one of them for stealing a train. (i fit it in my garage!)
10.Crack cocaine wasnt an epidemic until it got to suburbia and Jennifer got arrested for buying it" (haha, wow...)
11....Tyler got arrested for pissing in the road over by the gas station.
12...amanda was arrested for a bar fight
13. Brandon was arrested for breaking a window at a vacant store in Pacific Beach...funny thing is I didn't even have to google that!
14. Eric was arrested for the armed robbery of a South Carolina Krispy Kreme franchise...they tried to cut me off, but me and my AK47 had other ideas...lol
15. A few days later, reports started appearing that showed Rachelle was arrested for the murder and has since been arraigned. oh jeez.
16. SETH. Seth Arrested for Criminal Goofyness
17. "Jonathan was arrested for returning to the Dream Girls Club in violation of a Restraining Order." Bych Better have my Money!!!
18. Moss was arrested for second-degree assault Tuesday, after pushing a police officer 500 feet with his car.
19. "Megan was arrested for indecent exposure while crossing The Bay bridge" --> what the. go figure another megan would do this
20. "Alex was arrested for allegedly embezzling two hundred and seventy-three thousand dollars from the post office and for burglary and marijuana violations. lol sounds like something I might do... might..
21. "Daniel was arrested for doing nothing more than standing on the sidewalk." ...Sounds about right, asshole cops.
22. Drew was arrested for negligently starting the fire by draging a large piece of steel behind his vehicle. that sounds like something that i would do.
23. Dan was arrested for stalking Canadian singing sensation Celine Dion, though he was later released after police determined he was stalking her because he wanted to kill her, not because he loved her as they had initially suspected.
24. Tamara was arrested for public intoxication in the lower level of the west garage.
25. Eva was arrested for supposedly plotting to kill Stalin. (haha you can't make this stuff up)
25.Drew was arrested for negligently starting the fire by draging a large piece of steel behind his vehicle.
26. Jessica was arrested working as a prostitute in Florida - and landed in the middle of a multistate federal investigation into the underage sex trade.
27. Chadwick was arrested for possession of methamphetamine and possession of meth for sale, possession of marijuana and child endangerment charges. I dont know where to start with this one.
28. Carter was arrested for a series of street muggings, which included assault and robbery of a middle-aged black woman
29 Amy was arrested for transporting an illegal alien in a hidden compartment. She was pregnant while in jail and apparently a bunch of injustices took place. Serioulsy there are websites dedicated to this women.
30. Katherine was arrested for indecent exposure with her genitals rubbed raw.
31. Jenna was arrested at 1am in a nightclub in Austin because she was holding a bottle of beer. She turned up in court in a low-cut black shirt, pink Capri trousers and a toe ring.
32. Ryan Bones Malone - "Ryan was arrested for assaulting his brother, Erik. Erik was arrested for assaulting his brother, Ryan.

33.*KATO* KATO WAS ARRESTED FOR THE THEFT OF PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS FROM THE YAMANISHI KITA HOSPITAL.

-- OR--

34. *YOUR MOM* YOUR MOM WAS ARRESTED FOR MOLESTING A PENGUIN!

THAT WHOLE PENGUIN BIT HAD TO HAVE BEEN BEFORE I STOLE THE PSYCH DRUGS.

*GOT REAR ENDED, YO*

on the way to get my car washed, of all things! fucking rohnert park, the place is nothing but trouble. i had stopped at a green light (as did the cars in the left lane) on the rp expressway at country club b/c there was an ambulance trying to pass thru the intersection on cc, and dude in a big ass truck did not notice, slammed into me at prob 40 mph and pushed me clear thru the intersection. he had been in the left lane just seconds before so im guessing he swerved into my lane to go around thsoe other cars, but i never heard him braking at all. thank dog the ambulance had actually stopped to make sure there wasnt any traffic otherwise i wouldve been run right into them. doesnt look like a whole lotta damage, but my brakes went out, and the car wouldnt start back up (although thats most likely the auto fuel shut off for when you get into an accident) and i seem to be okay although my neck and head hurt like motherfuckers. i had never been hit before. its not fun. he hit me pretty hard. it hurts.

*CUPCAKES!!*

*I CAN FUCKING KNIT!*

I KNITTED THIS MOFO YEARS AGO BACK WHEN I FIRST STARTED SNOWBOARDING. IT'S STILL THE ONLY HAT I'LL WEAR WHILE I RIDE, ALONG WITH THE SCARF I KNITTED AS WELL, ALTHOUGH THAT'S DOWNSTAIRS IN MY CLOSET I THINK, PICS ANOTHER TIME. I'M AWESOME!

*FUCK YEAH BITCHES*

*AT LEAST MY TITS ARENT LOPSIDED*

will someone come over and help me with my laundry? ive got a million loads to do and i leave wednesday...

*Holy Earthquake, Batman!*

today was an eventful day.

my vet called my cat obese, or a beast, i couldnt tell.

then my cat bit my vet.

and theeen my vet joked about what a 'homo' christopher lowell is, but being a 'homo' himself i guess hes allowed to do that...? i love my vet!

now my cat has to have her teeth cleaned and her anal glands "expressed". yeah, dont ask.

then there was an earthquake!

i happened to be having dinner at old chicago pizza in ptown, which if youve been there, youd know its a super fun place to experience an earthquake in, although our waitress claims the building has been 'earthquake retro-fitted', sure, right. heres my pizza...



and heres my beer and salsa from chevys in sf a week or so ago with tron and becky and beckys friend...

*how come every time you come around my london london bridge wanna go down?*

catcat loves gun cases

old school vegas

duuuuude, i fucking made this fine piece of art in like 4th grade!!!

zosh in all her fluffy magnificence

ME


uhh, flowers?

accessorizzzze, yo

my temporary partner in crime...

*more shoes*

just got these in turquoise, seriously comfortable heels

*MEAT!! MEAT!! MEAT!!*

WE KILLED OUR COW...

OUR SEXY NEW FREEZER IS FULL OF MEAT!

MMM...HAMBURGER...STEAKS...RIBS...

ILL BE COOKING FABULOUS DINNERS...

FILET MIGNON & YUMMY GARLIC MASHED TATERS...

I MAKE DAMN TASTY HAMBURGERS...

THE BEST SPAGHETTI...

PEOPLE SERIOUSLY DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH BETTER FRESH MEAT LIKE THIS TASTES, ITS INCREDIBLE! (COMING FROM THE GIRL WHO USED TO BE VEGETARIAN...OH I WENT THRU THAT VEGAN PHASE FOR A WHILE TOO...SORRY JEN)


do ya think i used enough ellipes...??

*talk about some motherfucking sexy shoes!*

STUART WEIZTMAN 'FEVER'

you seriously dont even understand how HOT these shoes are. most definitely the sexiest pair of heels i own!

*GLOBAL WARMING IS COMING!!*

iikka: global warming is coming the day after tomorrow
dieselguy296: is it
iikka: yep, it just called me and said so
dieselguy296: have you seen that movie
iikka: i dont know how in the world it got my number though??
dieselguy296: I gave it to it
iikka: thanks a lot tard, now global warming is going to be stalking me
iikka: did you give it my home address too?
dieselguy296: No, I don't know that one
iikka: good
dieselguy296: but I did give it your IP address
iikka: dont
iikka: ever
iikka: i have a security system at all my addresses (yes even my ip) so i can tell when global warming is coming
dieselguy296: perfect
dieselguy296: its actually supposed to cool down over the next couple of days
iikka: if i can im going to get an order of protection against it
dieselguy296: good
iikka: i think yesterdays 113 was just what it needed
dieselguy296: get a restraining order on it, restraining it from coming with in 500 yards of you or your family
iikka: that should keep me quite safe
dieselguy296: yes
iikka: how did global warming contact you in the first place??
dieselguy296: well me and global warming are friends, I ran into it the other day and it said it really liked my truck and so we started hanging out
dieselguy296: so I had it call you just so it could scare you
iikka: yeah im sure global warming loves your truck
iikka: thanks man
iikka: i thought we were friends
iikka: and you go and put global warming on me?!
dieselguy296: then I gave it your ip address so it could definitely get in touch with you
iikka: we're family for fucks sake
dieselguy296: dude, it was supposed to be a practical joke
iikka: fine im going to switch my ip address now then
iikka: its not, global warming is taking this VERY SERIOUSLY!!
dieselguy296: global warming is much like robin, they both seem fiine but then get carried away when they are drunk
iikka: threats, pipebombs...
dieselguy296: I know
iikka: yeah well global warming is NEVER allowed to come in my house drunk, i dont want it peeing anywhere
dieselguy296: wait I told global warm not to use pipe bombs
iikka: no i bet the pipe bombs were your idea!
iikka: is robin friends with global warming too??
dieselguy296: No I said absolutely no pipe bombs, and he doesn't even know how much trouble he is getting into if he crosses mike
dieselguy296: No, they got in a huge fight over the correct way to make nachos
iikka: yeah exactly, when he gets back from ny and he finds out what global warming has been doing to harrass me...
dieselguy296: Robin was threatened by global warming
dieselguy296: seriously
iikka: global warming is into mexican food?
iikka: well i guess that kinda makes the most sense
dieselguy296: hell yeah that shit is hot as hell they way global warming makes it
iikka: hmm...maybe i should go to dinner with global warming, let it make me some tacoriffics!!
iikka: and then for dessert we'll have flantastic
dieselguy296: dude, global warming will just get drunk and hit on you
iikka: no drinking for it then
dieselguy296: its hard to keep it from drinking
dieselguy296: seeing as how it is the brain child of Al Gore, wouldn't you drink if you were Al Gore's child
iikka: yeah having a father figure like that sure would fuck you up and give you some problems
dieselguy296: seriously
iikka: now ive gotta call al and complain!
iikka: i havent spoken with al, personally, well...ever
dieselguy296: and then everyone in the world says either you suck or don't exist, the poor thing must have some serious problems
iikka: dont go making me feel bad for global warming!
dieselguy296: thats why I was trying to be-friend it
iikka: its threatening me!
dieselguy296: global warming is just anti social, and awkward kinda like ethan, so I can relate
iikka: and i really like my cell # i dont want to have to change it
dieselguy296: true
iikka: yeah well unlike ethan global warming is not my neighbor, and i dont WANT it to be
dieselguy296: global warming is everyones neighbor
dieselguy296: its like Jesus
iikka: it has to exist because at least one person believes in it?
iikka: or it has cool powers and can part the red sea
iikka: hahaha now this is just a big joke
iikka: b/c i know that was moses
iikka: and if dodo were here i could say, jesus moses, who cares, they're both mehicano naaames
dieselguy296: si es correcto
dieselguy296: I'm just saying yeah at least one person believes in it, but our president refuses to
iikka: well give global warming HIS number so he can go scare him
dieselguy296: I don't have the presidents number and well as cool as I am I just don't have everyone's number
iikka: you should probably try harder then
dieselguy296: yeah whatever

*KWEI BIN CRAB PUFFS!!*

*BMW NEEDS TO BRING THEIR WEBSITE UP TO SPEED*

they dont even have the new 335, which is a fucking awesome 300hp twin turbo...if i werent leasing this 330 and didnt have the '08 m3 on order id want that fucker!

and the other day i saw a new 3 series convertible coupe. BLECK! it was white. i was debating btwn a white or red m3, and im so glad i decided to go with red, the white just looked wrong. (im totally going to become a cliche by driving a red sports car, i love it!).

i dont drive enough. i was just telling dodo that when im in my car is kinda the only time i get caught up on current events & entertainment & new music. i dont watch much tv at all anymore, only forensic files at like 3 am when im alone and cant sleep, and then its about some serial rapist and i end up scaring the shit out of myself, but thats neither here nor there. im in love with the fact that my ipod connects directly thru the aux jack, they're so smart! ive had the car for over a year and barely have over 12000 miles on it. im a good driver, i love speed, i love taking turns right on the edge of too fast...ive only gotten one speeding ticket, pulled over like 5 or 6 other times and gotten off though i dont know how or why. driving is one of my most favorite things to do. its relaxing, exhilarating, freeing...

speaking of...riding bikes is just as fucking awesome, even though ive only ever been on the back, i can only imagine how it feels to be the one in control. remind my ass to go get my license!!

wow it feels like forever until the m3s come out...next september at the earliest...ugh!

THE JIG IS UP THE NEWS IS OUT THEY FINALLY FOUND ME!!

*so i've had my site meter for over a year now...*

first of all its really fun to see what specific words & phrases people plugged in to different search engines to end up at this site.

ive also had the ability to track isp addresses, which tells me exactly who's looking at my page. and for the past couple of months, there have been simply too many views from sonoma valley hospital. hmph...its too bad they allow crazy people to work there. you know who you are. all i have to say about that is "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" it must be hard to be so fucked up in the head, i cant help but feel sorry for you.

i get a lot of views from iran & asia too, which is pretty random.

guess what?

i got a fever

and the only prescription

is MORE COW BELL!

(this needs to be remembered more often)

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD*

~~I MISS YOU MORE THAN MY HEART CAN HANDLE~~

I CARRY YOUR HEART
I CARRY IT WITH ME, I CARRY IT IN MY HEART
I AM NEVER WITHOUT IT
ANYWHERE I GO YOU GO, MY DEAR
AND WHATEVER IS DONE BY ONLY ME
IS YOUR DOING, MY DARLING
I FEAR NO FATE FOR YOU ARE MY FATE, MY SWEET
I WANT NO WORLD, FOR BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE MY WORLD, MY TRUE
AND ITS YOU ARE WHATEVER A MOON HAS ALWAYS MEANT
AND WHATEVER A SUN WILL ALWAYS SING IS YOU
HERE IS THE DEEPEST SECRET NOBODY KNOWS
HERE IS THE ROOT OF THE ROOT
AND THE BUD OF THE BUD
AND THE SKY OF THE SKY OF A TREE CALLED LIFE
WHICH GROWS HIGHER THAN ANY SOUL CAN HOPE
OR MIND CAN HIDE
AND THIS IS THE WONDER THATS KEEPING THE STARS APART
I CARRY YOUR HEART
I CARRY IT IN MY HEART

frisbee fun foul, check out my swolllen & bruised thumb! yikes!


jen mom & i celebrated my dads birthday tonight. red grape.

im a bit of a cheesecake fanatic


asiago cheese ravioli


gorgonzola salad (no dead lady bugs this time)


mamas cobb salad, mmm yummy!!

*HIMALAYAN*

"FRISBEE IS NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE GOOD AT IT"

"I TRIED DRINKING A BEER UNDER WATER. IT WAS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT...CHAMPAGNE IS EASIER."

"IS THIS WHAT MICHIGAN DID FOR YOU? DID MICHIGAN TEACH YOU TO WRITE LEFT HANDED?"

*we like to scuba in my pool*

*evidently your mom has a fuck buddy*

Who will give you an orgasm? by *bitches*
Name
Age
Virgin?
So, who will make you moan?	YOUR FUCK BUDDY
How?	IT'LL DEFINITELY INCLUDE ICE CUBES, A BUFFALO - LIVE OR STUFFED- PREFERABLY STUFFED FOR SAFETY SAKE, AND A NINE IRON
Will it be good?	YEAH, YOU CAN STILL FEEL IT
Percentage of people who smiled when they saw this: 69%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

*love you uncle don ~ ill miss you ~ ditto dad*