FOR ANYONE REEEALLY PAYING ATTENTION, YES THAT IS BILLY MADISON ON THE TV...AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS AT 3AM WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GET REEEALLY HIGH WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS..."BUT, BUT THE PENGUINS...THEY CANT LET THEM TOUCH THE ICE...THE EGGS...THEYLL FREEZE..." CHECK OUT THAT AWESOME BONG DODO HAD MADE SPECIALLY FOR THOSE CRAZY KIDS OUT IN NY
FUCKING MCDONALDS MAAAAN ESSENTIAL AT 4AM WHEN YOU'RE FUCKED THE FUCK UP RIDE FROM THE AIRPORT FUN ON THE PLIZZANE
AphexBomb: I think you just officially qualified for the Hoe Olympics AphexBomb: I'm not sure, I'll have to check the rule book AphexBomb: ..... AphexBomb: Yup... there it is... You're in! Kremmm: well, i COULD have gone professional, but i decided to retain my amateur status so i was still eligable Kremmm: ya know, for the olympics AphexBomb: You are a credit to the team
dieselguy296: anymore incidents? iikka: hah iikka: no iikka: i drove home heeeella slow iikka: well iikka: the speed limit iikka: but damn it seems mega slow dieselguy296: yeah thats ridiculously slow iikka: fuck yeah man iikka: i have to learn this lesson though iikka: dood i got out of a ticket doing 95 dieselguy296: Yeah, buy a truck, they don't pull you over dieselguy296: actually thats not true iikka: how many times ever do you get out of that dieselguy296: but I don't go 95 in 55 dieselguy296: thats true, you don't get out of those iikka: rock on for christmas dieselguy296: what would you do if you got pulled over going 145 iikka: fuck man iikka: i wasnt even thinking about getting a ticket when i was doing that dieselguy296: yeah, thats a felony, you can go to jail, and lose your license iikka: good thing it was 3 am dieselguy296: yeah, but there are still cops at 3 am dieselguy296: you could probably get away with it, iikka: yeah i woulda been fucked at 145 dieselguy296: yeah, its real tempting to run iikka: i think im using up my driving goodlucks dieselguy296: prolly iikka: maaan mike outran a cop thru the dumps once dieselguy296: thats crazy iikka: i dont think ida tried that dieselguy296: crazy I tell ya dieselguy296: no, I'd just say, aren't you glad I didn't run iikka: im making sure to lock my doors ALL THE TIME now though dieselguy296: yeah thats crazy iikka: the chp thought it was funny that i was more worried about him opening the door and me getting abducted than worrying about the ticket iikka: my car is down for the count dieselguy296: is that why you said you were worried iikka: tucked in for the next 10 days dieselguy296: is it dieselguy296: yeah mike'll drive it iikka: yeah man, he just opened my friggin door iikka: heh, not if i hide the keys... iikka: i was like ''duuuuude close the door, ill open the window'' iikka: and he didnt dieselguy296: did you say its raining or I don't want to get abducted iikka: ''seeeeriously, close the door, its raining for christs sake'' iikka: well when i was telling him to close it i said it was raining then i rolled the window down dieselguy296: he prollly just wanted to snuggle up iikka: and im like yeah thats what i get for not locking my doors iikka: yeah maybe he saw i was having more fun and wanted to get in on the action dieselguy296: probably iikka: man im so excited about my spiderman crest spinbrush!! iikka: ive gotta finish packing too... we likey the red hair
i got this from julia, then i got it from kramer, and how could i not respond? i have terrible insomnia these days...it was 3:30am when i started, now its nearly 7am and yes, the sun is coming up. anyway to read kramers response check it on her BLOG and just for fun heres mine...
1. What time did you get up this morning? 8am and i swear. a lot. so dont say i didnt warn you 2. Diamonds or pearls? yes! emeralds & amethysts & opals & rubys & sapphires too please. i guess i have to say garnets, as theyre my birthstone. NO GOLD though, ugh, doesnt jive with my skintone 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? im with kramer on the 'on demand' thing, i cant even remember the last time i saw a movie in a theater 4. What is your favorite TV show? im a HARDCORE l&o fan!!! (law & order) satc too, (sex and the city) i just rewatched the first 4 seasons the other day. i love so much that my katies are new yorkers (well one soon to be anyway) im told the three of us now have a reputation of some sorts after last new years. tune in to find out what happens this year... sopranos if theyd ever get their shit together and get another season out. csi, only the vegas one though. i love anything on the history channel, the food network, modern marvels, a&e...city confidential & all those forensic & detective shows, etc. i did, at one point in my senior year of hs want to become a forensic scientist, but father fucking fergal gave me some shit about pursuing a career in a more "woman-friendly" environment. i dont even know wtf he meant by that. channel 37 and 42 are fantabulous in my book, they rerun all the l&os. im sure ive seen every imaginable episode by now. mad money with jim cramer makes my bloodpressure rise (btw i just found out that im pre-hypertensive. most likely due to stress) <<--i pulled that out of the totally random and unnecessary file. i like to watch bill oreilly to practice anger management. heres a fun website to check out tho... www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com i tune into all the news channels, local and national (i like to see what sorts of trouble the sfpd are getting themselves into these days) mxc is fucking awesomely hilarious as well 5. What did you have for breakfast? a xanax. haha no, no, that was yesterday today was a venti nonfat mocha with an extra shot no whip 6. What is your middle name? alyson (ive got to thank my mom for this, we actually recently discussed this, she was cool enough to use y's instead of i's in my name and my sisters. my names all end in n too so its got a nice roll to it....kathryn alyson deusterman. word, yo.) 7. What is your favorite cuisine? i dont like the word cuisine, its asking me to be too broad, im changing it to plain ol 'food'...my favorite food is cheesecake. and oranges. ritz are great too. and anything my dad used to cook (he was the best!!) his blackberry pancakes & his potato salad...mmm! haha kramer you and your damn tacos...i cant WAIT to get a taste of them myself though. is that dirty? heh heh... ;-) 8. What foods do you dislike? ""Any and all seafood: oysters, shellfish, shrimp, fish, lobster, crab, prawns, eel, octopus, sushi.........and anything else that lives in the water that people actually eat. YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!"" i couldnt agree with you more gulia! 9. What is your favorite Potato chip? i dont eat them, but if you were to force some down my throat id ask that you use good old regular lays, or doritos 10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? im a downloader/music pirater (is that a word? i dont care right now...) but i like a few songs on the new madonna album 11. What kind of car do you drive? mmm cars, i like talking about cars...for the time being im leasing a sexy black 2006 bmw 330i, 6spd of course, no more automatic/triptonic shit, blehk! its a fun car, it would never let me down in a traffic circle! 12. What is your favorite sandwich? turkey on a sourdough roll, mustard, lettuce, tom, onion, pickle & avocady from luchessis 13. What characteristics do you despise? patricia heaton! i agree with kt 100%. hahaha. im co-president of the ANSD with kt (alliance for non-stupid drivers) i love to drive and i exercise my horn quite frequently. im also a vigilant member of the grammar police. nothing bothers me more than people who dont know the difference between your and you're, their and there...you get the picture. however, im not picky about punctuation or capitalization or even creativity with words, but for chrissake people, pick a theme and stick to it, no Random capitalizations, Or At The Beginning Of Each Word. fuck, that shit takes forever too, so why? i dont get it. im a fast typer, i like to get in and get out, so i sympathize with mistypes like hwat or cnat. i also dont like jealousy, people who lie and people who cant be upfront with their feelings 14. Favorite item of clothing? i have a serious SHOE ADDICTION, but i cant be more specific b/c thats like asking a mother to choose btwn her children. you just dont ask a girl to choose a favorite among her shoes 15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? ANYWHERE TO BE WITH MY KATIES!!! 16. What color is your bathroom? white, white & white. we havent painted yet... 17. Favorite brand of clothing? im an equal opportunity shopper 18. Where would you want to retire to? i havent planned that far ahead in life yet 19. Favorite time of day? bedtime 20. Where were you born? noma baby! 21. Favorite sport to watch? ehh im not too into sports, but my mom MADE me watch the georgia bulldog game the other day, and ill occasionally turn on a giants game 22. Who do you least expect to send this back? dog 23. Person you expect to send it back first? whoever checks their email first? 24. What type of detergent do you use? that bigass jug of liquid tide from costco that lasts foooooreeever. front loading washers rock 25. Coke or Pepsi? definitely pepsi, diet caffeine free pepsi to be exact. coke tastes like fizzless stale tobacco 26. Are you a morning person or night owl? i swing both ways 27. What size shoe do you wear? im a solid 9 28. Do you have pets? damn julia...and how do you have room for all those bebehs?! ha. ive got 2 strictly indoor cats (i desperately want a kitten tho, maybe after we remodel...) catcat (non) hes friggin 15 years old, ive known him for over half my life, thats amazing! we think he might be gay though b/c he loooooves michael, but doesnt want anything to do with me. ive also got my baby zoe (zosh, min, bina, zozo) SHES NOT FAT, just really really really fluffy. =) im a firm believer that shes got some main coon in her...the talking, the havingtobeinmylapatalltimes, and the toe fur!! ive also got two straggling goldfish, theyre like 8 years old or something absurd like that...garth & vern. hank & fish expired a few years back 29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? IM PREGNANT! no, but seems like everyone else is, good god, but no bebehs for us, at least not for a long time. julia i need more info on this moving to the carribean!! thats awesome! but for me...ha...in our monthly homeowners assosiation newsletter there was a letter to the editor from the suuuuper annoying ppl who bought the house on the busiest corner in the neighborhood, everyone hates them b/c their stupid kids are always playing in the street (at least they were forced to take down their basketball hoop, fools) anyway the lady wrote a letter saying that she and her husband were 'depressed' that there arent more children in the neighborhood & that it feels like a 'retirement community'. IT IS you dumb bitch. aaaanway, she also complained that someones been doing donuts in the intersection in front of their house in the middle of the night and driving up on their lawn and majorly fucking it up. HAHAHAHAHA. unfooortunately i cant take credit for that, but id LOVE to know whoever it is, id like to give them a cookie! 30. What did you want to be when you were little? smart & savvy enough to marry a rich doctor and never have to work 31. Favorite Candy Bar? dont eat them anymore, im more into raw cookie dough, but when i was little my dad would bring me candy every day when he came home from work. i cannot remember what they were called, but they were these cherry covered chocolate bomb thingies. i miss my dad 32. What is your best childhood memory? every night when i was little, id climb into bed with my dad and eat oranges or apples and read. my favorite book was 'the wee kitten who sucked her thumb' and 'the fire cat' was pretty cool too. =( 33. Different jobs you have had in your life? pre-school teacher assistant...bookstore bitch...baby/house sitting of course...for a while there i almost became a nurse, but for now i own a nutrition store, and will hopefully soon have my real estate license 34 What color underwear are you wearing? cute little stripped pink vs boxies 35. Nicknames: kato, katopotato, bitches, mouse, mow, and REFRIGERATOR! haha! ooooh man REMEMBER PUKEAHONTAS?! thanks neibs. haha 36. Piercing? 3 in each ear, belly button, nose and tongue 38. Ever been to Africa? negative 39. Ever been toilet papered? surprisingly, no 40. Love someone so much it made you cry? and laugh, and smile and after nearly 8 years he still gives me butterflies in my stomach. awww, okay thats way cheesy, a simple yes wouldve been sufficient 41. Been in a car accident? yes. most recently it was me vs the traffic circle. the traffic cirlce won 42. Croutons or bacon bits? feta cheese crumbles 43. Favorite day of the week? october? 44. Favorite restaurant? hmm...i do my fair share of eating out (although i love to cook) i like to try new places, but the red grape in sonoma has the most fabulous gorgonzola salad, yummo. marys is always a solid staple too. and theres this place in sf in the sunset that has the best pizza. and if you want the best cheeseburger EVER...happy dog! (i had it last night, mmmm, too big to eat by yourself tho) 45. Favorite flower? calla lilies & roses & well, all of them actually. ive always got fresh flowers around, and plants too, i have a million plants 46. Favorite ice cream? choc chip cookie dough & mint choc chip 47. Disney or Warner Brothers? kramers response was so typically kramer, i love her. i dont have a preference here. but i will say i miss the old fashioned cartoons 48. Favorite fast food restaurant? yeup, in n out for sheeeze! its the only one ill eat at 49. What color is your bedroom carpet? kinda creamish, for now, soon to be hardwood, its not fun to have to clean hairballs out of carpet... 50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? i got 100% my first try. but i used my sisters honda for the driving test part...and ya know how they have you check the tires and trunk and glove box and shit? well we found a huge ass hunting knife under the drivers seat. HA. i guess my sister had it there for protection? maybe? i hope? the lady made my dad take it out of the car for the remainder of the test 51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail from? eddie bauer, telling me my down comforter has been shipped 52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? i can only chose one? 53. What do you do most often when you are bored? shop. or harass my katies THERE IS NO 54?! 55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? everyone i guess 56. Last person you went to dinner with? michael. julia was cory scared to death to meet greg? haha, tell your parents i said hi! 57. Ford or Chevy? kramer you like mustangs?! cha! i cant be your friend anymore. haha. i agree with julia...i liked my two jettas, they kept both michael and i from being seriously injured in both our crashes, but after the second jetta and second crash i figured i maybe have bad luck with VWs. julia that new supercharged range rover is fucking awesome! back to the question though...ford or chevy, this, sadly, is a big debate out here in gummerville, umm i mean sonoma. if we're talking cars...chev...theyve got the z06, and they were cool enough to make all the pimped ass camaros & impalas and my bfs 69 chevelle...and his brothers 65 convert...thats a sexay car. if we're talking trucks imma go with gm or dodge. if were talking suvs, gm deneezi for now, but that range rover... 58. What are you listening to right now? the whirring of my laptop & maybe an occassional car & the dryer. im coming back to ammend this, i think theres a cat on the bed in here now, i hear snarfing and licking... KRAMERS 59: how many glasses of merlot did you have tonight: none. but i stared at a bottle of some yummy bv cab. kramer i cant wait to drink with you again my love, NO TEQUILA THOUGH DOGDAMMIT!!! KRAMERS 60: what sucks more than the weather on the east coast? CEREAL KILLERS! muwhahahaha. MEAT CERAL to be specific 61. How many tattoos do you have? none 62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? dog 63. How many people are you sending this Email to? all the people that were on julias list, because i can. and any other email addy i can remember at this dogawful hour. 64. Time you finished this e-mail? i started this at 3:48am and i guess i got distracted looking at some websites, with all the shopping & car questions and then i went down and did some laundry...anyway its 6:29am right now. meh
aaaaand here is the response i got from my lovey dodo... 1. What time did you get up this morning? Woke up at 7:10 with a minor hangover - Got out of bed at 8:10 to leave my house by 8:30 to be at work by 9. 2. Diamonds or pearls? I agree with "the Katie K" on lovin the Prince. Diamonds are sparkly and perty, but I like pearl necklaces on my neck....and in my mouth....and on my stomach....... 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Fuck if I know.....hmmm....I think it was a comedy....this is giving me a headach...next question 4. What is your favorite TV show? Gilmore Girls. Dont laugh. 5. What did you have for breakfast? Crack Pills 6. What is your middle name? Suzanne. Kathryn Suzanne Dodd.... 7. What is your favorite cuisine? Um....fried chiggin & mashed taters 8. What foods do you dislike? Asparagus 9. What is your favorite Potato chip? Doritos 10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Uhhh 11. What kind of car do you drive? Chevy Trailblazer 12. What is your favorite sandwich? Vallergas....Turkey, mustard, lettuce, tomatoe, onion, avocado on a sourdough roll 13. What characteristics do you despise? I hate stupid people. And i hate people who are ugly. jk jk. I do hate stupid people though, and i hate people who are ignorant and people who dont agree with everything I say. Kramer - I guess you despise me cause i kinda like Everybody Loves Raymond. Sorry babe. I guess its over. 14. Favorite item of clothing? I have this tan colored crocheted shrug thing, love it. And then ALL my heels, and ALL my earrings. 15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?Ireland 16. What color is your bathroom? White 17. Favorite brand of clothing? Whatever brand is at Target. Haha. Seriously. Cause thats what I can afford. Otherwise - Exprizzess. I like buying a flashy piece here and there from Express and then putting them with something simple from like the Gap or Old Navy or my love, Target. 18. Where would you want to retire to? The Cabin. Sigh. I love the Cabin 19. Favorite time of day? 9 pm. The night is still young and has so much potential. (Totally jacking this answer from Kramer, not even going to change one word of it. She is so right on.) 20. Where were you born? Vallejo, California. Kaiser. Dr. Greene. March 21, 1981, 6:26am 21. Favorite sport to watch? Football, at the bar, Sunday mornings with Chip and the boys. Sniff, I'm gonna miss that. 22. Who do you least expect to send this back? Well, I dont think I'm going to send it to anyone, cause the people who sent it to me would be the ones who I'd send it to. But If I werent me, and I sent it to me, I would put me as the person I lease expect to send it back. Make sense? 23. Person you expect to send it back first? I'd say Kramer if I had sent this thing out first 24. What type of detergent do you use? I dont know. Orange box 25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke - for sheezy. Pepsi = ick 26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night. 27. What size shoe do you wear? 10 28. Do you have pets? Aww. My BUNS! Ernest and Chippa. Im gonna miss those boys. 29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Duh, you all know this one. I guess since you do all know, its not really news. I, Katie Dodd, and moving to NYC. Any other news? Oh yeah, I have vowed to myself that before I leave I will have sex with Art. He wants it. Hes just sceerrrrred. But I will overpower him with my raw sexuality...(and a shirt that shows my cleavage.) 30. What did you want to be when you were little? Um....... 31. Favorite Candy Bar? Um. Skittles? I dont really like chocolate all that much. If I HAD to choose I just might say.....Butterfinger. 32. What is your best childhood memory? Anything that has to do with the Cabin. 33. Different jobs you have had in your life? Lets see.....working at the Shop, Vallergas market - deli, catering, trash bitch at the outlets, waitress, office manager at an internet advertising co. 34. What color underwear are you wearing? pink with white polka dots. 35. Nicknames: Katie, Speedmo, Katie Dode, Dodd, Mo, Dodo, Momo, K Dodd, 36. Piercing?A few in the ears 38. Ever been to Africa? Nope 39. Ever been toilet papered? Yeah, once i think. Julia helped get the TP out of the tree...and then we rescued a dog and called animal control. When they got there the dog freaked out cause of that thing around his neck with the pole...you know what im talkin about? It was scary. And then I think we went inside and made lemon cupcakes. Was that all in one day Julia? 40. Love someone so much it made you cry? No. Unless my mom counts. 41. Been in a car accident? Yes. Jill Woolley rear ended me. Yeah baby, thats right. I mean that in the dirtiest way possible. 42. Croutons or bacon bits? Mmmm, both. 43. Favorite day of the week? Friday Night 44. Favorite restaurant? Heritage. Its fantastic. You just have to ignore all the Scriptures and Christian shit on the walls. 45. Favorite flower? Kramer, dont orchids mean death? Youre strange. I love tulips. I love lamp. 46. Favorite ice cream? Mint Choc Chip. Duh. 47. Disney or Warner Brothers? Dinee lan Dinee lan 48. Favorite fast food restaurant? In-N-Out. In-N-Out thats what a hamburgers all about! Ha, and that also makes me think of another little ditty.....Scandia all kinds of fun, wrapped up into one. 49. What color is your bedroom carpet? Who knows. I know its got dirt and beer stains on it. 50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Nada 51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail from? Mah Boss, Scott. 52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Nordstroms - shoe department. 53. What do you do most often when you are bored? Whine. Then go buy beer. 55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?Uhhh....your moms. 56. Last person you went to dinner with? Everyone I work with. 57. Ford or Chevy? Chevy. Duh. MUSTANG OVER A CORVETTE, OR A CAMARO? I cant believe you. 58. What are you listening to right now? The meeting going on in the conference room. 59/60. I'll answer Kramers questions: 59. How many glasses of merlot have you had tonight?Its only 1:20pm right now. I wont be having wine tonight, but I'll def. have at leaste 5 beers and probably 2 shots of tequilla. See....its thursday. Thursday is pool league night. Junior plays pool on thursdays and he buys me shots of tequilla. Hes not cute. Hes like 40, and mexican. But hes nice. And he buys me shots. The end. 60. What sucks more than the weather on the east coast? Awww. I like sucky weather. I guess I might have to answer this question again in about 3 months. I think I'll be aight. But I have to agree with Kramer. Patricia Heaton does suck. Even though i kinda like the show. 61. How many tattoos do you have? One. But its gay. I really wanted a tattoo. Cause i love tattoos, (specially on guys). But I was a pussy. And I got a lame sun on the cheesy, lower back, girl, tattoo spot. I want to get another one.... something that has to do with pirates. or a sexy angel and devil. 62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Scrambled eggs, with onion, and cheese, in a warm tortilla. Mmmmm. 63. How many people are you sending this Email to? Nun. 64. Time you finished this e-mail? Thursday, Dec 8, 1:29 pm.
kDeUSTerMAN: MAKE HER STOP Kremmm: hahaha kDeUSTerMAN: http://www.outrate.net/ kDeUSTerMAN: she has this in her bag of tricks Kremmm: i ain't clickin that shizzle kDeUSTerMAN: she must be working for some sketch internet comp kDeUSTerMAN: DO IT DAMMIT Kremmm: nope Kremmm: ha kDeUSTerMAN: the front page isnt bad, theres no penetration of any sort kDeUSTerMAN: im scared to go further though Kremmm: hahaha kDeUSTerMAN: ive never seen real gay porn before kDeUSTerMAN: and im not sure if i want to be devirginized of it today Kremmm: haha Kremmm: i love the options Kremmm: read or wank kDeUSTerMAN: this shit all started b/c my cousin said that some kid he went to school with at justin is doing gay porn kDeUSTerMAN: frank fanucci? Kremmm: haha really Kremmm: how old is he kDeUSTerMAN: im assuming close to my cousins age Kremmm: ah Kremmm: yes of course kDeUSTerMAN: how old is my cousin? kDeUSTerMAN: i think hes 20 kDeUSTerMAN: wow that seems so young Kremmm: i know Kremmm: that's how old my roommate is Kremmm: and it seems young kDeUSTerMAN: omg they have categories Kremmm: of course they do Kremmm: gotta keep it organized kDeUSTerMAN: 'twinks' 'muscle' 'daddies' 'latinos' and 'fetish' kDeUSTerMAN: hahahahah kDeUSTerMAN: wtf is a twink Kremmm: oh my dear god Speedmo9: ive watched gay porn before kDeUSTerMAN: no Speedmo9: yeah kDeUSTerMAN: with hector?! kDeUSTerMAN: hahahahaha Speedmo9: haha Speedmo9: no Speedmo9: with some gay guys i know kDeUSTerMAN: hmm Speedmo9: it was funny kDeUSTerMAN: ive never seen gay porn Speedmo9: and then the first time i was ever in ny we bought some gay porn Speedmo9: a magazine Speedmo9: got drunk and bought gay porn kDeUSTerMAN: ive never seen a guy stick his dick into another guy Speedmo9: 5 girls Speedmo9: hahaha Speedmo9: yeah Speedmo9: oh wait Speedmo9: i think i have a picture of it Speedmo9: just a sex kDeUSTerMAN: NO Speedmo9: http://www.outrate.net/ Speedmo9: just search around that site kDeUSTerMAN: dude how do you have this shit on tap? kDeUSTerMAN: wtf do they have you doing at that internet company? Speedmo9: what kDeUSTerMAN: read or wank kDeUSTerMAN: please dont tell me you're into gay porn Speedmo9: hell yeah Speedmo9: i love watching big cock thrusting in and out of a small hole while men are moaning in agony/extacy kDeUSTerMAN: can i quote you on that? Speedmo9: sure Speedmo9: its a favorite past time Speedmo9: more people should do it kDeUSTerMAN: maybe later, like when i go blind and deaf Speedmo9: hahaha Speedmo9: funny girl