Tuesday, August 29, 2006

*PICS TO ENTERTAIN DODO WHILE SHE'S AT WORK*

THIS IS MEEE, YO!


OKAY SO I OPEN THIS NEW KIND OF CAT FOOD, AND I START TO FREAK CUZ IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE FUCKING MAGGOTS IN IT, RIGHT? WRONG, ITS 'SALMON AND RICE' FLAVORED FOOD AND THOSE ARE JUST BITS OF RICE. STILL KINDA NASTY. AND YES, I FEED MY CATS WITH BABY FOOD SPOONS.


MMM, STEAK!


ZOSHIE BEAR


CAT CAT YUM YUM


Ok, find out how you will be arrested, the Google way. A fun little time-waster.

Go to google, type "(your FIRST name) was arrested for" and see what you got sent to the slammer for. Remember to use the quotation marks! Stick your result below...AND REPOST don't reply!

1. Gavin was arrested for causing a disturbance aboard a United Airlines flight.
2. Marianne was arrested for disturbing the peace by yelling at students in Hawaii.
3. Colleen was arrested For Using Duct Tape On Kid. HOW APPROPRIATE.
4. Melanie was arrested for drug connections. Who Me?
5. John was arrested for maintaining a common nuisance based upon the discovery of twenty pounds of marijuana in his apartment. LOL!
6. Matt was arrested for fondling and messing with a police officer.
7. In 1931, Sean was arrested for digging a hole to Hell, which released numerous evil demons into public. He spent six long days in jail, wishing himself dead. [its true]
8. Amanda was arrested for possession of crack. Dave, high himself, had told a police officer she was using. FUCK YOU DAVE!!!
9.geno was arrested three times this weekend,one of them for stealing a train. (i fit it in my garage!)
10.Crack cocaine wasnt an epidemic until it got to suburbia and Jennifer got arrested for buying it" (haha, wow...)
11....Tyler got arrested for pissing in the road over by the gas station.
12...amanda was arrested for a bar fight
13. Brandon was arrested for breaking a window at a vacant store in Pacific Beach...funny thing is I didn't even have to google that!
14. Eric was arrested for the armed robbery of a South Carolina Krispy Kreme franchise...they tried to cut me off, but me and my AK47 had other ideas...lol
15. A few days later, reports started appearing that showed Rachelle was arrested for the murder and has since been arraigned. oh jeez.
16. SETH. Seth Arrested for Criminal Goofyness
17. "Jonathan was arrested for returning to the Dream Girls Club in violation of a Restraining Order." Bych Better have my Money!!!
18. Moss was arrested for second-degree assault Tuesday, after pushing a police officer 500 feet with his car.
19. "Megan was arrested for indecent exposure while crossing The Bay bridge" --> what the. go figure another megan would do this
20. "Alex was arrested for allegedly embezzling two hundred and seventy-three thousand dollars from the post office and for burglary and marijuana violations. lol sounds like something I might do... might..
21. "Daniel was arrested for doing nothing more than standing on the sidewalk." ...Sounds about right, asshole cops.
22. Drew was arrested for negligently starting the fire by draging a large piece of steel behind his vehicle. that sounds like something that i would do.
23. Dan was arrested for stalking Canadian singing sensation Celine Dion, though he was later released after police determined he was stalking her because he wanted to kill her, not because he loved her as they had initially suspected.
24. Tamara was arrested for public intoxication in the lower level of the west garage.
25. Eva was arrested for supposedly plotting to kill Stalin. (haha you can't make this stuff up)
25.Drew was arrested for negligently starting the fire by draging a large piece of steel behind his vehicle.
26. Jessica was arrested working as a prostitute in Florida - and landed in the middle of a multistate federal investigation into the underage sex trade.
27. Chadwick was arrested for possession of methamphetamine and possession of meth for sale, possession of marijuana and child endangerment charges. I dont know where to start with this one.
28. Carter was arrested for a series of street muggings, which included assault and robbery of a middle-aged black woman
29 Amy was arrested for transporting an illegal alien in a hidden compartment. She was pregnant while in jail and apparently a bunch of injustices took place. Serioulsy there are websites dedicated to this women.
30. Katherine was arrested for indecent exposure with her genitals rubbed raw.
31. Jenna was arrested at 1am in a nightclub in Austin because she was holding a bottle of beer. She turned up in court in a low-cut black shirt, pink Capri trousers and a toe ring.
32. Ryan Bones Malone - "Ryan was arrested for assaulting his brother, Erik. Erik was arrested for assaulting his brother, Ryan.

33.*KATO* KATO
WAS ARRESTED FOR THE THEFT OF PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS FROM THE YAMANISHI KITA HOSPITAL.

-- OR--

34. *YOUR MOM* YOUR MOM WAS ARRESTED FOR MOLESTING A PENGUIN!

THAT WHOLE PENGUIN BIT HAD TO HAVE BEEN BEFORE I STOLE THE PSYCH DRUGS.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

*GOT REAR ENDED, YO*


on the way to get my car washed, of all things! fucking rohnert park, the place is nothing but trouble. i had stopped at a green light (as did the cars in the left lane) on the rp expressway at country club b/c there was an ambulance trying to pass thru the intersection on cc, and dude in a big ass truck did not notice, slammed into me at prob 40 mph and pushed me clear thru the intersection. he had been in the left lane just seconds before so im guessing he swerved into my lane to go around thsoe other cars, but i never heard him braking at all. thank dog the ambulance had actually stopped to make sure there wasnt any traffic otherwise i wouldve been run right into them. doesnt look like a whole lotta damage, but my brakes went out, and the car wouldnt start back up (although thats most likely the auto fuel shut off for when you get into an accident) and i seem to be okay although my neck and head hurt like motherfuckers. i had never been hit before. its not fun. he hit me pretty hard. it hurts.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

*I CAN FUCKING KNIT!*

I KNITTED THIS MOFO YEARS AGO BACK WHEN I FIRST STARTED SNOWBOARDING. IT'S STILL THE ONLY HAT I'LL WEAR WHILE I RIDE, ALONG WITH THE SCARF I KNITTED AS WELL, ALTHOUGH THAT'S DOWNSTAIRS IN MY CLOSET I THINK, PICS ANOTHER TIME. I'M AWESOME!


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006

*AT LEAST MY TITS ARENT LOPSIDED*

will someone come over and help me with my laundry? ive got a million loads to do and i leave wednesday...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

*Holy Earthquake, Batman!*

today was an eventful day.

my vet called my cat obese, or a beast, i couldnt tell.

then my cat bit my vet.

and theeen my vet joked about what a 'homo' christopher lowell is, but being a 'homo' himself i guess hes allowed to do that...? i love my vet!

now my cat has to have her teeth cleaned and her anal glands "expressed". yeah, dont ask.

then there was an earthquake!

i happened to be having dinner at old chicago pizza in ptown, which if youve been there, youd know its a super fun place to experience an earthquake in, although our waitress claims the building has been 'earthquake retro-fitted', sure, right. heres my pizza...




and heres my beer and salsa from chevys in sf a week or so ago with tron and becky and beckys friend...